Livin' La Vida Luna y Luca
Throwback to this week last year. WOW. What a difference 🥲
Bad Dad
Research shows that millennial fathers spend significantly more time with their children than previous generations. Some studies indicate we spend nearly 3x more time with our children than our fathers did with us.
I refer to this phenomenon as Front Row Fatherhood.
It would make sense if you're hearing this phrase for the first time because I just made it up 🤷♂️ .
And I'm proud to announce I consider myself a founding member of the movement.
We drop off. We pick up. We attend Doctor & Dentist appointments. We welcome tantrums with open arms. We are sitting in the front row of every dance recital, ball game, or whatever else our children get themselves into. We awkwardly socialize about the weather at 2 birthday parties per month. Most importantly, we'd bet our lives on the simple fact that we've changed more diapers than our baby mommas.
Despite repeatedly showing up, we're prone to making mistakes.
Or at least I am...
This past week was humbling for me.
Luna had a "Winter Wonderland" concert at school. She has been practicing her performance for weeks. She gave me a sneak peek the night before the concert. It was so friggen cute.
The "Winter Wonderland" was scheduled to start at 2pm.
But the class parent sent a message saying the performance would start at 2:10.
Dia and I showed up at 2:06 and we walked into everyone applauding the students for their performance.
My stomach dropped. We missed it.
I locked eyes with Luna as the door closed behind me and she looked disappointed.
Fuuuuuuck. 😭
... But wait. There's more ...
A few months ago Luna started showing signs of discomfort with itchy skin.
The problem worsened in the winter and I wrote it off as dryness. I thought a humidifier in her bedroom + some expensive lotions and creams would do the trick. But it didn't.
Dia finally scheduled an appointment with a Pediatric Dermatologist and her motherly instincts were right all along. Luna had a condition that could only be treated with potent medicine.
I felt terrible because Dia (+ her mom, + her sister-in-law, + her aunt, + her niece) all mentioned Luna's condition as a possibility, but I simply refused to believe it.
The worst part was our Dermatologist diagnosed Luna in less than 6 seconds (not exaggerating). It was so obvious to him. And it hit me like a train. My disbelief turned into denial, which quickly turned into regret and ultimately registered as this wicked combination of guilt and anger towards myself.
I held Dia back from getting Luna the care she deserved (for ~months) simply because I didn't want to believe what they were saying could be true.
BTW - Without going into the details, the medicine worked and she's totally OK! 😌
Why share this with you?
Honestly, I'm not sure...
I feel like publicly shaming myself for not showing up for Luna this past week is a punishment that fits the crime. Hopefully, I won't have to write another admission of guilt anytime soon.
Learn from the mistakes. Get better. Move forward.
✌️
